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| Pizza Guy |
In a shocking development, some guy who delivers pizza to one of Amy Jo Johnson’s neighbors has reported that the former pink Power Ranger will be joining the Marvel cinematic universe as Spiderman’s Aunt May. “So this guy that always orders a double cheese pizza and bread sticks told me if he sits by his backyard fence he can hear what is going on in the Johnson compound” said the delivery driver.
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| Homeless Guy |
“Marvel and Sony want to change things up by making Peter Parker multi-racial. Peter will be of Native-American, Latino, African, Samoan, and Aborigine descent,” claimed Johnson’s eavesdropping neighbor.
“It worked so well for The Fantastic Four that it just makes sense to do it in Spiderman” said a recovering alcoholic who lives at a nearby homeless shelter.
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| Hot Aunt |
An early draft of the new Marvel approved script shows that Peter was raised by his Russian born Uncle Ivan and his spunky, Caucasian, Canadian, ex-gymnast Aunt May” said an un-named source with little knowledge of the actual plans.
“Aunt May has always been portrayed as a wrinkly old lady and I think this new version is more in tune with reality which is something we need more of in our fantasy films. I think everyone can relate to this new vision of Aunt May. I mean who doesn’t have a hot Aunt that they want to get with? Yeah it’s a little creepy that my aunt looks a bit like my mother but it’s not like we are first cousins.”
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| Origin Guy |
Plans to show Peter Parker witness the death of Bruce Wayne’s parents have been put on hold as Marvel has not been able to come to terms with Warner Bros. “By not showing Batman’s origin in the new Spiderman film we will be able to once again show Spiderman’s origin which is something we know the fans will be excited about” said an anonymous script writer.
