Sweetwater Wallpaper

I originally created this image for a Sweetwater DVD menu screen. I decided it would also make a nice Amy Jo Johnson wallpaper.

Amy Jo Johnson Sweetwater 1024 x 768 Wallpaper. Click it!

Mail Bag

We get some weird emails.
We thought we should share some of the most memorable ones.

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Dear Temple of Amy Jo Johnson,
You suck!!!

I'm really not sure how to respond to this one.

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you guys need to post more pix an vids an less stoopid storys cuz i aint got time to scrool by all the stoopid things so put up more pix or i aint comming to this site anymore by the way i know u aint amy jo johnston  ur fake

Yes we are not Amy Jo Johnston, you busted us good! Now as to your scrolling issue, you could click the pics link on the left side of this site or you could start your own site that doesn't scroll.

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Dear Amy,
You looked so hot when you were pregnant with your milk filled breasts and that sexy glow that pregnant girls have. God that was so hot. I think pregnant girls are hotter than skinny girls and if you want me to I could make you pregnant again and I'd have no problem sexing you up all the way up to when you are ready to deliver! If you want to hook up with me email me back because I have rock hard abs, I hit the gym like five times a week and I know how to make great babies.

The rock hard abs are tough to pass up

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I like this site but you should post pics of other hot women.

ummm...you did notice that the site is called The Temple of Amy Jo Johnson, didn't you?

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Stop posting $#it about Winnona Ryder or we will take you down!

It's Winona you dumb a$$.

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Jesus said not to worship celebrities so you all are going to burn in hell. I know who god is and trust me he aint the pink ranger! So when you all die in a fire or a car wreck don't ask why.

We promise not to ask any questions after we die.

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Why do you guys use stupid star wars names like Vader and Skywalker?

It's a nod to the mid to late nineties when everyone on the net had an alias or screen name. It's sort of the opposite of all this "targeted social media" crap people do on Facebook and Twitter. Oh and we also use them because they are absurd, just like most of this blog. So pick a stupid Star Wars name and join The Order!

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How come the pic at the top doesn't change anymore?

and

That picture of Amy on your site's banner is fake. I doubt Amy would approve of it.

The picture doesn't change anymore because...well...have you looked at it? It's AMAZING! Amy has her own site and she can decide what pictures go on that site. You may call our banner a fake but we call it ART. It's technically a photo manipulation and it's damn impressive in our opinion. So until we find something more impressive it's not going to change.

Cannibal tribe agrees not to eat Amy Jo Johnson

By Dick Spires in Sydney 2:59PM BST 16 April 2011

Tribe Members display their "No Eat Amy Jo Johnson" sign.

A tribe in Papua New Guinea has apologized for killing four Order of Meridian missionaries and has promised not to eat the Order’s deity, Amy Jo Johnson, if they ever meet her in person. However, the tribe has refused to apologize for the actual act of eating the missionaries. The four slain Meridian missionaries were part of a proselytizing mission on the island of New Britain where tribesmen massacred them in March. They were murdered on the orders of a local warrior chief, Tulolo, and were then cooked and eaten.

The missionaries were cooked and eaten.

The Meridians, a minister and three teachers, were under the leadership of the Reverend Jek Porkins, an adventurous missionary who was born in Hardup, Utah but has spent most of his adult life spreading the word of Amy Jo Johnson in the Asian South Seas.
Thousands of villagers attended a reconciliation ritual near Rabaul, the capital of East New Britain province, notorious for the ferocity of its cannibals.

"The tribe did not express regret for consuming human flesh"

The tribe’s leaders apologized for murdering the four missionaries but did not express regret for consuming their human flesh. Many island inhabitants were pleased that the cannibalistic tribe had taken some responsibility for the killings, "It's an important first step because it will be much more difficult to cook and eat someone if they are still alive," said Cinao Sartava, a local plumber. "We at this juncture are deeply touched by your public statement of regret and wish you the greatest joy of forgiveness as we finally end this record disagreement," said Rato Isia Ticonan, the island’s high commissioner.

 "It’s almost as if you can hear her screaming ‘eat me’."

One of many signs
found in the village.

Warrior chief Tulolo added, “Although Amy Jo Johnson looks positively scrumptious, our tribe promises not to eat her. Yes Amy Jo Johnson would no doubt be a delectable taste treat for us to feast upon but in the spirit of peace and cooperation we will spare Amy Jo Johnson as long as she shows us two forms of photo identification”. The tribe has posted easy to read signs in and around every hut in their village reminding tribe members not to eat Amy Jo Johnson if the opportunity arises. “It will be a tough mandate to comply with,” said a tribe member “if you look at Amy Jo Johnson photos it’s almost as if you can hear her screaming ‘eat me’ and that’s going to be tough to disregard”. Cannibalism is still widespread in many parts of the South Pacific. Fiji was in earlier times known as the Cannibal Isles and unreceptive islanders have killed dozens of missionaries.

"Their sacrifice paved the way for this truly historic don’t eat Amy Jo Johnson agreement."

Reverend Porkins immigrated to New Zealand as a young man and served as a missionary in Samoa before moving with his six wives and children to New Guinea.
He is familiar with the cannibalistic customs of the region and once described a visit to a village in which he counted 85 human jawbones dangling from the rafters of a hut.

Reverend Jek Porkins

"A human hand, smoke-dried and resembling a deformed slim jim, was hanging inside the same hut. And outside I counted 376 notches in a tree, each notch of which, the natives told us, represented a human body which had been cooked and eaten there," he told the Royal News Service.
Even so, he was shocked when told that four of his staff had been cannibalized. "They were killed simply because they were foreigners, and the natives who killed them did so for no other reason than their desire to eat them. Thankfully, their spirits can rest in peace knowing that their sacrifice paved the way for this truly historic don’t eat Amy Jo Johnson agreement," he said.

Amy Jo Johnson on Flashpoint

Amy Jo Johnson on Flashpoint. Click it!

Amy Jo Johnson’s birth certificate in question

Donald Trump: Amy Jo Johnson Birth Certificate Details Being Sought By Investigators In Massachusetts, Mongolia and Beijing

Donald Trump

WASHINGTON -- Real estate tycoon Donald Trump said Thursday he hopes questions surrounding Amy Jo Johnson’s age and birthplace would finally be addressed now that President Obama’s long form birth certificate has been released.

Trump said he didn't introduce the age or citizenship issue, but was asked about Amy Jo Johnson during an interview about a month ago. Since then, he said he's looked into it and believes "there is a big possibility" Johnson may be a clone who is younger than she claims, the daughter of a Mongolian yak herder or possibly an immortal deity who may be thousands of years old depending on which version of her birth you believe.

Amy Jo Johnson

"I want to see Amy Jo Johnson’s birth certificate," said Trump in an interview on BCNC's "Good Morning Today" show. "How come her own so called worshippers don't know which hospital she was born in? My people found the alleged hospital and let's just say there's no birth certificate to be found. How come in the hospital itself there's no record of her birth. In other words, it doesn't say which room she was born in or how much her parents paid or even who was the doctor for her birth.”

Officials in Massachusetts have certified that Ms. Johnson was born in that state. But Trump has demanded additional proof, asserting that an online religious group claims that she could have been born thousands of years ago in China and may have been cloned multiple times. "I'm not convinced that she has one," Trump said of the birth certificate issue. "Good Morning Today" show host Meredith Von Halen asked Trump, "You've been privy to all of this new information?" His response: "Well, I have people that have been studying her and they just cannot believe what they're finding. They have been collecting her trash and sorting through it and we even have people looking at cave drawings found in Khangai Nuruu National Park located in Mongolia."

Amy Jo plays guitar

The remarks from the potential presidential candidate prompted Von Halen to ask Trump if he also had people on the ground in Communist China searching for proof of Johnson’s birthplace. He signaled he did, saying, "And they have raised serious questions. And I'm serious about how serious these questions are turning out to be." When asked how genuine his search is, Trump said, "I always take things seriously, but I've never taken anything as seriously as this, like seriously serious. I wish I didn't have to do it," he said.

"She might be considered one of the greatest actresses in the world," Trump said, but he also said acting jobs are disappearing from the United States with many going to Canada and that Johnson has given aspiring actors from the United States "a terrible role model to follow." Trump said that if Johnson officially joins the 2012 Presidential election race, “She will witness the full power of my unstoppable PR machine." He accused Johnson of carrying out confusing policies, saying, "nobody even knows what's happening with her rock band."

Willie Hancock

"I'm only interested if she was over 18 during the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers series," Willie Hancock, a Trump supporter said. Hancock added "before the court revoked my visitation rights, my son Dick would bring Power Ranger VHS tapes over on the weekends. Watching Amy Jo in those episodes would, well, it would…let’s just say it would stir something primal in me and I’d end up putting little Dick to bed early so I could umm…watch the tapes privately." Hancock isn’t alone as a recent survey indicated that 96% of heterosexual males from the ages of 10 – 64 had watched Power Ranger tapes umm…privately. “Sometimes I’d feel like a weirdo but I felt my private viewings were socially acceptable knowing Amy Jo was an adult when the Power Rangers series was filmed. Now that her birth is in question I’m just filled with guilt and I get a sick feeling whenever I drive by my local high school,” said Hancock.

Trump added that he is not singling Amy Jo Johnson out because she represents a threat to his yet to be announced campaign and that sooner or later he would like to see every living American citizen’s birth certificate “just to be sure”.

Hair brained scheme foiled by stylist

Toronto police move in

Toronto’s Emergency Task Force has apprehended Louis Cypher, a 41-year-old Saskatoon resident and self-proclaimed "spiritual geneticist" who was holed up in a local Toronto motel Friday after an almost 4-hour standoff.

Brenda Connors

The task force received a tip from local hairstylist Brenda Connors after she received a series of what she described as “bizarre phone calls” from Cypher. “It started Thursday afternoon when a man claiming to work as a talent handler for a Canadian Television Network called my Salon. He asked if actress Amy Jo Johnson had come in for her hairstyle appointment. I checked the appointment schedule and told the man we had no such appointment on record but we could squeeze her in at 3:30pm. The caller told me he needed to check Amy Jo's network appointment book and said he would call back. The guy called me back later that day and asked me to check if Ms. Johnson had made any appointments for the entire month and I told him that we didn’t have any appointments listed. That evening I met my friend Karen, who is also a hairstylist for a different salon at Remington’s for a few drinks. I told Karen of the phone calls and Karen told me that she had also received a similar call from a man named Cypher,” said Connors.

“The salon logs all incoming calls and the next morning as a joke I called Cypher’s number and told him I had made an error because I had only checked hairstyle appointments. I told him I had completely overlooked Amy Jo’s Friday morning appointment for a Brazilian waxing,” added Connors. “I love that show Punked and thought tricking some pathetic, sicko, degenerate would be fun”.

Louis Cypher

That’s when Toronto police say things got really bizarre. According to police records, Cypher requested that the salon save any hair removed from Ms. Johnson, secure it in a plastic bag and hold it until the suspect retrieved it later that afternoon. “I told him we could just give the hair to Amy Jo because she had not yet left the salon but he insisted that we not mention it to Amy Jo because she was extremely eccentric and sometimes violently anti-social,” said Connors “twenty five minutes later Cypher was standing in my salon asking for Ms. Johnson’s hair. I didn’t know what to do because I honestly didn’t expect him to show up and I didn’t actually have any of Amy Jo’s hair to give him. I knew this was getting serious and I needed to give him something because he looked very scary. Like child molester, serial killer, I’ll eat your offspring kind of scary”.

Police records indicate that Ms. Connors told Cypher that she needed to retrieve the hair from the salon’s safe and she then preceded to the back office area where she quickly gave herself a Brazilian wax with the hopes of deceiving Cypher. “Thank god I’m a brunette because he was completely fooled. He took the bag of my hair and hurried off with it. That’s when I called the police,” reported Connors.

A phone

Captain Luis Tennant a spokesman for Toronto’s Emergency Task Force reported that authorities were able to track Cypher to a local Toronto motel using the suspect’s Apple iPhone, which has built in GPS tracking. “We surrounded the motel and were preparing to apprehend the suspect when a witness claimed to have seen bomb making materials being brought into the suspect’s room moments before we arrived.” Police then called the suspect and ordered him to exit the motel and surrender himself peacefully. After almost four hours of intense negotiations the suspect finally complied and surrendered without incident. “Negotiations like this can get a little weird. It usually starts with the suspect making ridiculous demands and then we falsely promise to comply with whatever they ask. Well this case was no different than most but the suspect’s demand for Amy Jo Johnson to agree to attend a Power Ranger convention was way over what we could possibly pretend to deliver. The suspect also demanded peace in the Middle East and a large order of cheese fries that we promised to arrange but we just couldn’t say that Ms. Johnson had agreed to do the Power Ranger convention with a straight face,” added Captain Tennant.

Inside the motel room

According to police records no bomb making materials were found in the suspect’s motel room but police were startled to find thousands of unfertilized human egg cells as well as an incubator, Petri dishes, microscopes, and tools capable of removing and implanting cellular organelles, such as the nucleus, from one cell to another. “It was basically everything the suspect needed to produce human clones and he freely admitted that was his goal,” said Captain Tennant. According to Cypher’s statement, the suspect’s “sacred holy mission” was to “create an unstoppable, gymnastically trained, military force consisting of over 46 million Amy Jo Johnson clones,” A military force that Cypher claimed was his "religious destiny to command".

Brenda Connors now wonders what would have happened if she hadn’t notified the police. “I just find myself wondering if I missed my chance to be like almost sort of immortal. I mean can you imagine Cypher’s surprise when he realized he had made 46 million Brenda the hairstylist clones? That would have been like the ultimate Punked moment”.