Amy Jo Johnson may help women to become pregnant

Amy Jo Johnson

Republic of Moldova – Amy Jo Johnson may help women who are trying to become pregnant through in-vitro fertilization, a recent study suggests.
In a study of 222 women undergoing IVF, Moldovan researchers found the odds of success were greater among women who were entertained by Felicity episodes featuring Amy Jo Johnson right after they had the embryos implanted in the womb.
Overall, 56 percent became pregnant, versus 20 percent of women who'd had a Johnson-free recovery after embryo implantation.
The findings appear in the journal Fertility, Sterility and Felicity, and expand on research the Moldovan group had presented earlier at a 2010 fertility conference.

Keri Russell's ever changing hair

Dr. J. L. Beyt, who led the work, said he got the idea for the study after reading about the potential physiological effects of “Keri Russell’s various hairstyles.”

"Patients suffering from infertility undergoing IVF are exceptionally stressed," said Beyt, who is based at Vlad Filat Medical Center in Teleneşti.
"So I thought that this American television series could be beneficial for them at the crucial moments after embryo transfer," Beyt told Roiders Health in an email.
To test the idea, Beyt's team played Felicity episodes at their fertility clinic periodically over one year. Of the 222 women in the study, half underwent embryo implantation on a day they showed Felicity episodes from season one or two that featured Amy Jo Johnson while the other half watched episodes from seasons three and four that were filmed after Johnson left the popular WB series.
During recovery from the procedure, each woman watched a 45-minute commercial free episode of the show.

Johnson during season 2 of Felicity

The researchers found that compared with women who came to the clinic on a "non-Johnson" day, those who had watched a Johnson episode were more than twice as likely to become pregnant, when other factors, like age, type of infertility and the number of embryos implanted, were taken into account. Of those who watched “non-Johnson” Felicity episodes a staggering 85% became depressed with many having suicidal or homicidal thoughts. One woman glued her eyelids shut halfway through a season four episode and another was found lying naked on the clinic’s floor trying to pierce her eardrums with a knitting needle. “We knew the final two seasons of Felicity were hard to watch but we never expected they might drive someone to self mutilation,” said Beyt.

Eyes Glued Shut

Whether other fertility clinics are going to start playing Felicity episodes that feature Johnson is anyone's guess. But Beyt added that if studies at other centers back up his findings, fertility clinics elsewhere might take up the tactic.
"After all," he noted, "this can be one of the least hazardous interventions in our field as long as it’s a Johnson Felicity episode."
Asked whether other stress-reducing television might be useful, Beyt said further studies are needed to answer that question.
It's not clear, he noted, that watching Amy Jo Johnson actually worked by curbing stress. And in general, researchers are not sure what role emotional stress might play in IVF success.

We are number one!

Amy Jo Johnson

The Temple of Amy Jo Johnson announced today that they are the number one web destination for Amy Jo Johnson fans. "We have crunched the numbers and we are clearly the most visited Amy Jo Johnson fan site in the entire universe," said a Temple leader.

The Temple did not provide any numbers or proof that it is indeed the most visited Amy Jo Johnson site but Temple leaders were confident enough to make the claim. "We are a well known, trusted religion. We should not be expected to prove anything!" said a defiant temple member. "If you look deep into your own soul, the truth will be revealed to you," added a temple leader. "You know it's true so accept it before it destroys you," said the temple's accountant.

Packers investigated for deity violation

GREEN BAY - The NFL is investigating the Green Bay Packers for possible improper use of a deity during the NFC championship game against the Chicago Bears. “The Bears are claiming that Amy Jo Johnson was placed by Green Bay near the five yard line to intimidate Chicago coaches and players on the field,” said a league insider.

"We're checking into it," said NFL spokesman Hugh Jorgan, who confirmed that the league is reviewing substantial evidence.

Kevin Greene and Amy Jo Johnson give advice to Clay Matthews

"The NFL monitors the sidelines with security people, checking credentials to make sure the appropriate people are on the sidelines," Jorgan said. "This particular incident, an official noticed Amy Jo Johnson who was not properly listed on Green Bay’s official game day roster. We triple checked her credentials and she did indeed have a Packers bench credential and at the time it appeared to be a simple case of mixed up paperwork. The Bear’s objection was that Ms. Johnson seemed to be floating about a foot or two off the ground and was casting an angry glare towards several Chicago players and coaches. We asked Amy Jo to stop floating and proceed to the Green Bay bench area." Jorgan said NFL security did not try to eject Johnson, and that the incident was the result of routine procedure, not a tip from The Bears.

"It was strictly by checking credentials and seeing a woman in police swat gear floating, away from the bench area," he said. An official with the Packers stated that “strong winds at game time might have nudged the floating Johnson out of the bench area but it was never the intent of the Packers organization to gain a competitive edge by placing a deity in an inappropriate location”.

But Bears vice president Cam Payne told T.O.O.M. that Chicago had been tipped off.
"We had gotten word before the game that they had a floating deity, so we were expecting it," Payne said.

Green Bay and Tampa Bay give thanks to Amy Jo Johnson

“Amy Jo Johnson has been assisting Dom Capers, the club’s defensive coordinator all season long, everyone knows that Amy Jo is the undisputed master of the three-four defense. If Chicago had done their homework they would have known this. To file a complaint simply because Amy Jo Johnson occasionally levitates is ridiculous and in my opinion, poor sportsmanship by the entire Bears organization,” said a Packers fan who added, “The Bears know we are trying to focus on winning the championship by beating Pittsburg and they are causing a distraction purely out of spite. You didn’t hear New England complain when the Jets had Winona Ryder calling plays during their playoff game, they just shut up and took the loss like men. ”

According to Jorgan “The worst case for Green Bay is they will be fined for illegal deity placement, not for simply having a deity on their sideline, but where along the sideline their deity was seen floating or levitating. We allow every team to worship whoever or whatever they choose to worship and if the league could get thirty-two deities to sign contracts, we would have a levitating deity on every team next season.”

Felicity and Flashpoint Pics Coming Soon!

AJJ sure has been in the news lately! Lost tribes, time travel and presidential runs? It's been a very busy time here at the temple but don't worry AJJ fans, the picture posts will resume shortly. I'm organizing the Felicity and Flashpoint pics and they should be posted very soon.

Group releases photos of undocumented tribe to raise awareness

(GNN) -- In an effort to ramp up pressure for Peru to crack down on illegal loggers in its region of the Amazon, a religious Amy Jo Johnson group has released what sources say are photos of a previously undocumented tribe in Brazil that is threatened by the logging across the border.
The Order of Meridian say the previously unpublished photos, which it released Monday, show members of an undocumented Brazilian tribe that is likely to get drawn into conflicts with Peruvian tribes who are fleeing their homes because of the logging.

Amy Jo Johnson with tribe members

One photo shows Amy Jo Johnson and several unknown associates with the tribe members, some in pink and blue robes, standing in front of green foliage and looking upward.
The photos were taken by The Order of Meridian's undocumented tribe task force and were given to Survive International, it said.
"The illegal loggers will destroy this undocumented tribe," Survive International Director John Corey said in a written statement. "It's vital that the Peruvian government stop them before time runs out. The people in these photos are self-evidently healthy, thriving and have great big blue eyes. They may be short by traditional standards but they make up for any short comings with their adorable facial expressions and wonderful basket weaving skills. What they need from us is their territory protected, so that they can make their own choices about their future."

More than 100 undocumented tribes remain worldwide, and about half live in the remote reaches of the Amazonian rainforest in Peru or Brazil, near the recently photographed tribe, the organization says.
Loggers in Peru are pushing isolated Indians from Peru into Brazil, where, according to Survive International, "the two groups are likely to come into conflict."

The Order of Meridian have pushed Peru to act against the logging for years, but little has been done, they say. "If nothing is done, Amy Jo may be forced into a situation where she will unleash her godly wrath on Peruvian leaders. Amy Jo’s attributes are balanced in her divine perfection. And they are perfectly balanced. If Amy did not have wrath and Amy did not have anger then she would not be our perfect god. Amy is perfect in love, on the one hand, and she is equally perfect in hate, on the other hand. Just as totally as she loves, so totally does she hate. As her love is unmixed, so is her hate unmixed. In layman's terms it simply means you don't want to meet up with a pissed off Amy Jo Johnson in a dark ally," said a Meridian leader. “Stop the logging, lest Amy be angry and you perish from the way when her wrath is kindled but a little.”